The Most Frustrating Things in Kingdom Hearts

Why the original Kingdom Hearts can be sometimes, just a bit annoying.

Fighting the Heartless

We all know that playing through Kingdom Hearts as quickly as possible is a sure-fire way to see Sora floating in the darkness with a disembodied heart a foot away from his chest (see: Dead).

Oh hai guys, what're you all doi-WRRBLE-WRRBLE-ZAP-SCREEETCH-BOOM!!!Like most Square-Enix games, the only way to defeat your more challenging opponents in Kingdom Hearts is to either have the correct strategy (which is why there will always be one or more SE games in the top 10 at Gamefaqs) or beat enough Heartless into the ground to bring your stats to a point where nothing poses a threat.

The heartless themselves were cause for very little aggravation, but one more than others caused me to shout profanity at a glass screen, just for ‘popping in’ at the most inconvenient moments.

‘Darkballs’ with their misty, floaty ways, especially so when hunting in packs, just wafting to your position like some demonic fart cloud only to erupt in what can only be described as an explosive seizure. Rather annoying when you’re in a cramped environment taking on multiple heartless. No amount of whack-whack-whack can prepare you for the Wrrble-wrrble-zap-screeetch-boom!

Attempting to beat Riku

Next, on to one of the most challenging and compulsory battles in the game (because everyone knows Selphie is the most challenging side battle. How do you fight a girl?!)
It really does make for an attractive looking bottle opener.

Despite having beaten an old woman so hard she turned into a dragon, this boy in the grass skirt was such a challenge to overcome that all the strategies read about it online or in a guide book really didn’t help.

For me, his speed, strength and occasional invulnerability were just too much at level 40 something. The lack of Leaf Bracer in the first game mean that when things are looking grim and Riku’s in the mood for hurting, you’ll be dead before Sora can hold his Keyblade aloft and shout ‘Cura’.

So after shouting, cursing, asking questions of no one in particular, tightening my grip on my Dual Shock 2 and dodge-rolling like some sort of  professional athlete any time he mentioned Darkness (“Behold the power of Darkness”, “Open your Heart to Darkness”, “The Darkness do a pretty rubbish cover of Street Spirit”),  13 year old me decides to call it a day and just spends the next 3-4 hours leveling up ’til he’s no longer a threat.

If I knew then what I know now, he’d have been beaten in about a minute and 34 seconds.

What hurts the most about it all, is the fact that despite all your hard work trying to keep Sora alive and not let him loose his heart, he goes right ahead and relieves himself of it.
Ironic conclusion to tough battle is ironic.

Sora’s Jumping Inability

Finally, quite easily the most frustrating part of Kingdom Hearts, was something you’d have to encounter multiple times in every world . Jumping from one platform to another platform.
This became easier as time went on, with the additional abilities High Jump, Glide and finally Super Glide. Most levels were also pretty forgiving of your inability to reach the next platform, having you just scramble up to where you were within seconds.

This is not the case with Deep Jungle however. When trying to cross the Hippo’s Lagoon, jumping from treetop to treetop in your over sized yellow Doc Martins, falling means you will have to swim rather slowly, back to where you began to do it all over again.

The added injury comes when you have to traverse the Jungle Vines above this section.
If you fall here, you fall to land in the previous area, which luck would have it, winds up with you slowly wading through hippo infested waters, to climb back up to where you were.

I put myself through torture for you. Thank me with candy.

This whole sequence of events from the slow motion fall through the foliage, paddling through the lagoon, merrily hopping up the vine ladder and leaping wildly from vine to vine (in much the same way the offspring of a lemur and a pendulum might) to return right back where you were, can take over a minute.

I know..
I timed it..
It was 1:02

Needless to say, Deep Jungle was my least favourite level in the game and I was thrilled to hear of its absence from KH:Chain of Memories, KHII, KH:358/2 Days and KH:Birth By Sleep.
It it were possible, I’d have started a Deep Forrest Firaga.

It could have been worse though…

In conclusion: Riku + bottle opener = RAAAAGE!
Darkball + a desire for hugs = Nuuuuuuu!
Deep Jungle + gravity = DIEDIEDIEDIE

What annoyed you the most in Kingdom Hearts?

So, after all of that, I want to hear from you, the community. What annoyed you in the original Kingdom Hearts? Was it a feature (or lack of)? A particular character/heartless? Perhaps the script?

PS. I thought the Gummi Ships were kinda fun.

“The Most Frustating Things in Kingdom Hearts” was authored by Jiminy Cricket, Global Moderator on our Community Forums. Each Monday, we’ll be publishing a new Guest Post by a member of the Kingdom Hearts community.